Re-Calculating…

Dad got me a GPS system for my birthday. He thought it would be helpful for our cross-country drive and then for navigating my way around Syracuse for the first couple of months. He was right; it has already proven to be invaluable for both of those things. The GPS got us safely from California to upstate New York, a distance of over 3,200 miles, found us restaurants, got us to attractions, and even led us to an amazing hotel right off the Mississippi River that was not listed in the AAA guidebooks. And now in Syracuse, Simon (as the GPS has come to be called) has led me safely to and from my house to such adventures as the grocery store, the airport, church, and several Starbucks (free internet!).

But as helpful as Simon is, driving with a GPS has also reminded me that while having extensive knowledge of every road in the United States, Canada, and Mexico is helpful, it is still not as good as being a human and having logic. The other day he tried to lead me into a creek, not knowing that there was a bridge out. And yesterday, on the way to my daily “find a Starbucks to check email” adventure, he directed me to a field. I can only assume that there either used to be or will someday be a Starbucks there. Right now, there is grass, and no free wireless. Simon is wonderful and he is helpful, but he is not a replacement for paying attention and knowing where I am going.

Driving with a GPS system has a lot of similarities to my life as I begin internship, I think. After all, I have been in seminary for two years now; I know a lot of stuff. A lot of random stuff. I understand two biblical languages. I can quote obscure theologians. I have read countless books on preaching and pastoral care. I know the Book of Concord cover to cover (more or less…). With everything so fresh in my mind, in terms of academic knowledge I am probably more prepared right now than I will ever be at any other point in my ministry. Right now, I am a lot like Simon.

But as much as I know, what I don’t know is more important. Because what I don’t know is how to use this knowledge. What I don’t know is how to move my knowledge from my head to my heart, to preach a sermon that speaks to people’s lives, to sit and be in a pastoral care visit and let God work through my be-ing, to translate academic theology into language that is meaningful. What I don’t know is how to be a pastor.

The time has come to turn off the GPS. To accept that I’m going to get real lost and I’m going to make a lot of mistakes. And sometimes I’m going to find myself sitting in the middle of a field, with no idea how I got there. But that is part of the journey; that is part of the adventure. That is part of learning to led God do the leading.